IWD 2024: On Goalposts, Interviews, and the Illusion of Allyship

On International Women’s Day, it’s time to acknowledge the continued difference between appearances and reality in the workplace — and what we can continue to do to pursue inclusive spaces.

Every year, we hit March — Women’s History Month — and we see a ton of corporate “celebrations” of women. But as a woman who’s walked the long, rocky road to senior leadership in the tech and gaming industries, I am time and time again reminded that today’s allyship is far more concerned about intent, appearances, and intake than it is with impact and sustainability.

I do believe there are many folks who truly want to be allies and build a more equitable world for folks of all identities. And I also believe that there are a lot of folks who have become far more concerned with looking like an ally than actually doing the work, especially when it means uncomfortable personal conversations or actions are required.

In multiple workplaces, purported allies told me I was in a safe space — and each time I welcomed this with the hope for a better future. When things went wrong in those environments and I needed to ask some of those same folks to reflect on their own behavior, defensiveness became the rule of the day. Or, more insidiously, folks who spoke of allyship sometimes proved unwilling to stand up against bad behavior from their peers…